Language of letting go

Getting It All Out

Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.

What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?

We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.

Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.

Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.

We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.

Today, I will let it all out if I need a release. 


I grew up in a alcoholic home,and was taught that you don't share things with people.,. I walked on egg shells around my dad so not to upset him.  I grew up wanting to please my dad. I was daddy's little girl. 
 I went through school not opening up to anyone nor did I have many friends. I didn't feel like I fit in. 
When I was 13 I went to live with my mom who had left me when I was 2 years old. My mother and step dad smoked pot so here I was having to keep secrets.
I grew up to be a alcoholic and a addict and to be very codependent. All of the relationships that I got into I became who they wanted me to be,and did whatever they wanted me to whether I wanted to or not just to keep them happy. The only time that I didn't do as I was told or keep my mouth shut was when I got drunk and then I would get angry and take it way to far,and I would feel guilt,and remorse the next day. 
Being codependent has really taken a toll on my life it has lead me to depression& anger and  even physical sickness. I believe that it all was fear based..
the codependent behavior really started to change for me once I got sick and tired of being sick and tired,and that was 5 1/2 years after I was sober. I had been taken through the 12 steps and had seen how I was playing the victim and being a martyr the past 5 1/2 years of my recovery. I was walking around allowing others to say and do things and then I wouldn't stand up for myself,but then I would hold a resentment and go whine about it. 
Today I don't do that thanks to working the 12 steps I have learned how to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes I still struggle with sharing my feelings,but thank God I have close friends in recovery that know me well enough that know me well enough to know when I'm not ok ,and then I open up and share my feelings. Why I don't do it sooner I don't know cause I always feel better, thank God  it's progress not perfection.I will probably be working on this the rest of my life.

Todays Gift

I found words to every thought I ever had, but one . . .
  —Emily Dickinson

What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.

What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words? 

Each day new begining

Peace, she supposed, was contingent upon a certain disposition of the soul, a disposition to receive the gift that only detachment from self made possible.
  —Elizabeth Goudge

Self-centeredness, egocentrism, and selfishness are familiar to most of us. We have judged our world and all the situations and people in it in terms of how their existence affects our own. We have become tied to him or to her or to a situation just as surely as an anchor to a boat. Most of us learned in very early childhood to read others' behaviors. And we determined our own worth accordingly.

As adult women we still struggle, trying to read another's actions, hoping to find acceptance. Which means we are always vulnerable, exposing our "self" to the whims of other, equally vulnerable "selves." What we search for is peace and security. We think if others love and accept us, we'll be at peace. We'll know serenity. A most important lesson for us to learn in this life is that peace is assured when we anchor ourselves to our God. Peace, well-being, serene joy will accompany our every step when we expose our vulnerable selves to God's care and only God's care. We'll no longer need to worry about the self we try to protect. It will be handled with care.

Peace awaits me today. I will look to God, and only God, to know that all is well, that I am all that I need to be.

Todays gift

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
  —Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

Dreams

 
Dreams
“Listen to your dreams. They are the whispers of your heart telling you all you’ll ever need to be happy.”
~Belva Davis

Affirmation:
I am co-creating a new life with God.

Today's Prayer:
Dear God,

You know the dreams I have long-held in secret and even the dreams I have forgotten about.
Dreams of the way the world can be for me personally and for all of us.
Sometimes, I have ignored my dreams, thinking that they were "too big" for
me.
I realize that You have placed these longings in my mind and heart.
I believe that with and through You, all things are possible.
I consciously place my dreams in Your hands.
Show me what I must do and who I must be in order to manifest the
life You inspire in me.
I open myself to receive Your wisdom, guidance and assistance.
Thank You very much.
Amen

Celebrate

Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, and your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy - their attitudes, beliefs, and pain - on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, and rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God's creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that are there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.

Daily reflections

A NATURAL FAITH

. . . deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55

I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eatingand sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.

From the book Daily Reflection