Fear and Faith

The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one

that can never be wholly completed.  When under heavy attack, acute 

illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to 

this emotion -- well or badly, as the case may be.  Only the self-

deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263

Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith.  There 

are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm 

experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart.  

Faith and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -- helps me 

endure tragedy and ecstasy.  When I choose to give all of my fears 

over to my Higher Power,  I will be free.

In Touch Daily Devotional July 7

 
Exodus 3:10-17
God called Moses to do a great work for Him that would also bless the Israelites. Moses' response to this awesome invitation was to offer excuses for why he couldn't obey. This attitude--which I call a "faith barrier"--can thwart us spiritually.
In Moses' life, we see areas of weakness that can create such a barrier:
Poor self-image. When God gave the command to go to Pharaoh and lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses' immediate response was to say, "Who am I?" Perhaps he was thinking of his occupation as a lowly shepherd living in Midian. Maybe he was referring to his lineage--He was part of the Hebrew race that was enslaved in Egypt. Or He might have been recalling his past, when he killed an Egyptian and had to flee Egypt (Ex. 2:12). The Lord answered his objection with a wonderful promise: "I will be with you" (3:12).
Ignorance. In order to carry out God's plan, we need to believe fully in the One who has called us. When Moses questioned his assignment again, the Lord answered by revealing Himself as the great I AM and the One who had promised to rescue the Israelites (vv. 14-17). By trusting in the character and promises of almighty God, Moses would be able to carry out this seemingly impossible assignment.
Faith barriers hinder the flow of divine power in our life, slow spiritual growth, and prevent us from fully carrying out God's will. We must remember who He is, who we are, and where power comes from. That is, He's Sovereign over all, we're new creations in Christ, and His Spirit empowers us.

EACH DAY A NEW BEGINING

. that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
  —Doris Lessing

As we are changed by our experiences, that which we know also changes. Our experiences foster growth and enlightenment, and all awarenesses give way to new understandings. We are forever students of life blessed with particular lessons designed only for us. There is joy in knowing that learning has no end and that each day offers us a chance to move closer to becoming the persons we are meant to be.

To understand something more deeply requires that we be open to the ideas of others, willing to part with our present opinions. The program offers us many opportunities to trade in the understandings we've outgrown. Throughout our recovery we have discovered new interpretations of old ideas. And we will continue to expand our understanding.

Every situation, every person, every feeling, every idea has a slightly different hue each time we encounter it. The wonder of this is that life is forever enriched, forever fresh.

Each moment offers me a chance to know better who I am and to understand more fully the real contribution that is mine to make in this life. I will let the anticipation of my changing ideas excite me.

Language of letting go

Getting It All Out

Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.

What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?

We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.

Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.

Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.

We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.

Today, I will let it all out if I need a release. 


I grew up in a alcoholic home,and was taught that you don't share things with people.,. I walked on egg shells around my dad so not to upset him.  I grew up wanting to please my dad. I was daddy's little girl. 
 I went through school not opening up to anyone nor did I have many friends. I didn't feel like I fit in. 
When I was 13 I went to live with my mom who had left me when I was 2 years old. My mother and step dad smoked pot so here I was having to keep secrets.
I grew up to be a alcoholic and a addict and to be very codependent. All of the relationships that I got into I became who they wanted me to be,and did whatever they wanted me to whether I wanted to or not just to keep them happy. The only time that I didn't do as I was told or keep my mouth shut was when I got drunk and then I would get angry and take it way to far,and I would feel guilt,and remorse the next day. 
Being codependent has really taken a toll on my life it has lead me to depression& anger and  even physical sickness. I believe that it all was fear based..
the codependent behavior really started to change for me once I got sick and tired of being sick and tired,and that was 5 1/2 years after I was sober. I had been taken through the 12 steps and had seen how I was playing the victim and being a martyr the past 5 1/2 years of my recovery. I was walking around allowing others to say and do things and then I wouldn't stand up for myself,but then I would hold a resentment and go whine about it. 
Today I don't do that thanks to working the 12 steps I have learned how to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes I still struggle with sharing my feelings,but thank God I have close friends in recovery that know me well enough that know me well enough to know when I'm not ok ,and then I open up and share my feelings. Why I don't do it sooner I don't know cause I always feel better, thank God  it's progress not perfection.I will probably be working on this the rest of my life.

Todays Gift

I found words to every thought I ever had, but one . . .
  —Emily Dickinson

What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.

What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words? 

Each day new begining

Peace, she supposed, was contingent upon a certain disposition of the soul, a disposition to receive the gift that only detachment from self made possible.
  —Elizabeth Goudge

Self-centeredness, egocentrism, and selfishness are familiar to most of us. We have judged our world and all the situations and people in it in terms of how their existence affects our own. We have become tied to him or to her or to a situation just as surely as an anchor to a boat. Most of us learned in very early childhood to read others' behaviors. And we determined our own worth accordingly.

As adult women we still struggle, trying to read another's actions, hoping to find acceptance. Which means we are always vulnerable, exposing our "self" to the whims of other, equally vulnerable "selves." What we search for is peace and security. We think if others love and accept us, we'll be at peace. We'll know serenity. A most important lesson for us to learn in this life is that peace is assured when we anchor ourselves to our God. Peace, well-being, serene joy will accompany our every step when we expose our vulnerable selves to God's care and only God's care. We'll no longer need to worry about the self we try to protect. It will be handled with care.

Peace awaits me today. I will look to God, and only God, to know that all is well, that I am all that I need to be.

Todays gift

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
  —Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?