Detaching in Relationships
When
we first become exposed to the concept of detachment, many of us find
it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching means we
don't care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying, and trying to
force things to happen, we're showing how much we care.
We may
believe that controlling, worrying, and forcing will somehow affect the
outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying, and forcing don't work. Even
when we're right, controlling doesn't work. In some cases, controlling
may prevent the outcome we want from happening.
As we practice
the principle of detachment with the people in our life, we slowly begin
to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably detaching with love, is a
relationship behavior that works.
We learn something else too.
Detachment - letting go of our need to control people - enhances all our
relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It
reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace
and harmony.
Detachment means we care, about others and
ourselves. It frees us to make the best possible decisions. It enables
us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to
have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of
action. It encourages others to do the same.
It allows our Higher Power to step in and work.
Today,
I will trust the process of detaching with love. I will understand that
I am not just letting go; I am letting go and letting God. I'm loving
others, but I'm loving myself too.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990,
