Chronic Pain

Let me introduce myself to you,
I am pain.
Not just pain, but Chronic Pain.
Sometimes I am a hot searing pain,
other times I am a sharp shooting pain,
cutting through you like a knife.
And yet at other times I am like a root canal or toothache, that never goes away.
If left uncontrolled, I will rob you of your humor,
I will rob you of your friends and rob you of your dignity.
I will rob you of your job and make your family miserable.
I will take away from you everything that is dear to you
including your very soul.
You can not see me,
As I am invisible to the human eye.
Therefore one should not judge someone
who knows me on a constant daily basis,
for I do not ever go away.
I do not have any friends,
for if left alone,
I destroy them.
If you think you are safe from me,
Please think more than once.
For I can become a part of you,
as quickly as a snow flake falling from the sky;
as easily as a leaf falling from a tree
or raindrops falling from the sky.
No one wants me as a friend;
Because I Am The Enemy!
Many doctors fear me
for they don't or won't treat me!
I am treatable,
but on many times I am not seen
I hide and I lurk in somebody s body,
and many deny I am a part of them;
in fear of being called insane.
Why are doctors afraid of me,
Are they afraid of me because of who I am, and what I can do?
or who my insurance company is?
or is it the Federal Government
in which they fear?
By Paula Baier

Treatment/plus my personal treatment

Treatment

The goal of treatment is pain control and as much mobilization of the affected limb as possible. An individualized treatment plan is designed during your doctor visit, which often combines physical therapy, medications, nerve blocks, and psychosocial support.

Medication
Medications are prescribed to control pain. The type of pain experienced by the patient determines the type of medication prescribed. For information on obtaining low cost or free medicines please click here.

Constant pain caused by inflammation is treated with nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (e.g., aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen, indomethacin).
Constant pain not caused by inflammation is treated with central acting agents such as tramadol (Ultram®).
Stabbing pain and pain that disrupts sleep are treated with antidepressants such as amytriptyline, doxepin, nortriptyline, and trazodone. Oral lidocaine, a somewhat experimental treatment for RSD/CRPS, also may be prescribed.
Sudden sharp pain may be treated with anticonvulsants (e.g., carbamazapine, gabapentin).
Generalized, severe pain that does not respond to other medications may be treated with opioids (e.g., oxycontin, hydrocodnone, propoxyphine, codeine, morphine).
Muscle cramps (spasms and dystonia) can be treated with clonazepam and baclofen.
Localized pain related to nerve injury may be treated with Capsaicin® cream, but its effectiveness has not been proven.
Medications that block selected actions of the sympathetic nervous system, such as clonidine (Catapres®, available in oral and patch formulations), can be useful in some cases.
One of the main drugs used, Neurontin, was the focus of a recent 20/20 epose' article. For details look here

Muscles stiffness may be treated with muscle relaxants such as

Tizanidine (Zanaflex®)
Baclofen
Clonazepam (Klonopin®)
Physical Therapy
Physical therapy should include daily range of motion exercises. Patients should be advised to avoid activities that could accelerate osteoporosis or joint injury.

Nerve Block

Sympathetic nerve block interrupts the transmission of pain signals from a group of nerve cell bodies (called a ganglion). When treating an upper extremity, it is called a stellate ganglion block. A small needle is used to inject an alpha adrenergic antagonist alongside the windpipe. When treating a lower extremity the nerve block is performed in the lower (lumbar).

The procedure, usually performed by an anesthesiologist familiar with the technique, involves the insertion of a needle into the appropriate location and the injection of anesthesia into the ganglion. The effect is monitored over time.

Sympathectomy Patients who have a good but temporary response to nerve block may be candidates for sympathectomy. The goal of surgery is suppression of sympathetic nervous system activity in the affected area.

TENS Unit

A transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) unit may be used to treat the affected area. In some cases, spinal cord stimulators are implanted permanently to supply a low intensity impulse to a location in the spinal cord in an attempt to interrupt the pain signals that are being transmitted to the brain.

Psychosocial Support
RSD/CRPS patients often become depressed and anxious because of chronic pain and loss of physical ability. Counseling, support groups, and chronic pain center programs help patients learn coping strategies and provide emotional and psychological support

My dr tried many different medicines with me and physical therapy,we did not have any success with them. He turned me over to pain management and I had 2 nerve blocks,and I didn't have any relief at all from them. So we talked about the spinal cord stimulator,and set up the appt to have the trial done. I did get a bit of relief from that  during this whole time I was taking percocets getting very little relief. So I did eventually get the spinal cord stimulator put in it seemed to help for the first couple of weeks,but as time went on it seemed like it was making my pain worse so I turned it off, the girl from medtronics thought maybe I just needed to heal more from the surgery. I am not 2 months post surgery and still not getting much relief from the spinal cord stimulator,but I don't think it's the stimulator that don't work I believe that it's the RSD getting worse since my pain is starting to spread into different areas of my leg.My dr has started me on 25 mgs of fetnalyn patch as well now and I still am in a good bit of pain.So this is where we stand with it at this time.   .

RSD ~Reflex sympathetic dystrophy~ My story

Reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), also known as complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), is a chronic progressive neurological condition that affects skin, muscles, joints, and bones. The syndrome usually develops in an injured limb, such as a broken leg. However, many cases of RSD involve only a minor, seemingly inconsequential injury, such as a sprain. And in some cases, no precipitating event can be identified.

Pain may begin in one area or limb and then spread to other limbs. RSD/CRPS is characterized by various degrees of burning pain, excessive sweating, swelling, and extreme sensitivity to touch. Symptoms of RSD/CRPS may recede for years and then reappear with a new injury.

Types
Two types of RSD/CRPS have been defined:

Type 1 - without nerve injury
Type 2 (formerly called causalgia) - with nerve injury
Both types express the same signs and symptoms.

Incidence and Prevalence

Millions of people in the United States may suffer from this chronic pain syndrome. RSD/CRPS affects both men and women, but is more common in women, and can occur at any age, but usually affects people between 40 and 60 years old.

The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes reports that 2% to 5% of peripheral nerve injury patients and 12% to 21% of patients with hemiplegia (paralysis on one side of the body) develop reflex sympathetic dystrophy as a complication. The Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association of America (RSDSA) reports the condition appears after 1% to 2% of bone fractures.

Causes and Risk Factors

RSD/CRPS appears to involve the complex interaction of the sensory, motor, and autonomic nervous systems; and the immune system. It is thought that central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) control over these various processes is somehow changed as a result of the injury.

Conditions associated with the onset of RSD/CRPS include:

Trauma (e.g., bone fracture, gunshot and shrapnel wounds) Spinal cord disorders Cerebral lesions Heart disease, heart attack Hemiplegia (paralysis on one side of the body) Infection Radiation therapy Repetitive motion disorder (e.g., carpal tunnel syndrome) Surgery In 10% to 20% of cases, no direct cause can be found. Injury that precedes the onset of RSD/CRPS may or may not be significant.

RSD Signs and Symptoms

The symptoms of RSD/CRPS may progress in three stages acute, dystrophic, and atrophic although this notion is subject to debate.

Acute: burning pain, swelling, increased sensitivity to touch, increased hair and nail growth in the affected region, joint pain, color and temperature changes; first 1-3 months

Dystrophic: constant pain and swelling, limb feels cool and looks bluish, muscle stiffness and atrophy (wasting of the muscles), early osteoporosis (bone loss), 3-6 months

Atrophic: cool and shiny skin, increased muscle stiffness and weakness, symptoms may spread to another limb

Characteristic signs and symptoms of sympathetic nervous system involvement are :

Burning pain
Extreme sensitivity to touch
Skin color changes (red or bluish)
Skin temperature changes (heat or cold)
Pain is usually disproportionate to the degree of injury and can be triggered by using the affected limb or by stress and can be spontaneous or constant.

Symptoms associated with an immune reaction include:

Joint pain
Redness
Swelling
Accumulated immune cells in the site
Frequent infections

Signs of motor system dysfunction include

Difficulty starting movement
Increased muscle tone
Muscle spasm
Tremor
Weakness

Other symptoms include: Migraine headache
Excessive sweating
Fatigue
Dermatitis, eczema
Complications

Patients with any chronic illness, including RSD/CRPS, often suffer from depression and anxiety. Skin, muscle, and bone atrophy (wasting) are possible complications of the syndrome. Atrophy may occur because of reduced function of the limb.

Diagnosis

RSD/CRPS can be difficult to diagnose and often requires excluding other conditions that produce similar symptoms. A thorough history and neurological examination is of utmost importance. During the exam, the clinician may notice that the response to mild sensory stimuli produces severe pain.

Physical examination involves observing the skin color and temperature, swelling, and vascular reactivity; overgrown and grooved nails; swollen and stiff joints; muscle weakness and atrophy (wasting).

Other conditions are ruled out with appropriate testing that may include MRI studies, a full laboratory panel, EMG/NCV (electrophysiological studies of the nerves and muscles), and a test known as a thermogram, which uses an infrared video camera to measure the emission of heat from the affected limb.

I was in a motorcycle accident and fractured my femur and went through a year and a half of physical therapy,and made very little progress because of severe pain. My surgeon was baffled and could not figure out why I was still in so much pain because my fracture was healed,but I had pain in my femur area still. My surgeon turned me over to my PAC and I went to see him and my PAC is a wonderful man I've been seeing him for 13 years and he listens to me thank God and this time was no different he listened to me as I explained to him the symptoms that  I was having  the burning the cold the pain when touching it and when I tried walking on it and  I'm in constant pain. My leg is discolored and it is shiney as well. he ordered a EMG and so I went in and had the EMG done and bingo here he knew exactly what he was looking for and it was the RSD. I also get bruises on my leg as well.Now my pain is starting to spread down my leg into my calf.. I am grateful for such a wonderful PAC that is open minded enough to really listen to his patients, it got a diagnoses so much quicker.

What If?

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.

"What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked.

"Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it well."

What if's can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else's hands. What if's are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.

What if's are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what's best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.

The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don't have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don't need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome - even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.

Today, I will not worry about other people's reactions or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.
                                                    

Detachment

                            
: Detachment means "freedom from emotion."  Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.  At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.  I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come

Good morning

~step 10~

I pray I may continue: To grow in understanding and effectiveness; To take daily spot check




 inventories of myself; To correct mistakes when I make them; To take responsibility for my

actions; To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and behaviors; To keep my willfulness in check; To always remember I need Your help; To keep love and tolerance of others as my code; And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my loving Father

Life as it is

Life is not lived in some far-off, imagined land of someday where everything is perfect. It is lived here and now, with the reality of the way things are.
Yes, by all means you can work toward an idealized existence. Yet to do so, you must successfully deal with the world as it is.
That, in fact, is much of what gives life its richness. Even though your present circumstances are less than ideal, you can nonetheless prevail and prosper.
The real and present difficulties never have to give you a reason to give up. On the contrary, they provide you with a clearly defined path for moving forward.
If everything was already perfect, there would be no opportunity to make improvements. There would be no way to enjoy the profound satisfaction of making a positive difference.
Enthusiastically embrace life as it is, with all the ups and downs. For within the context of life as it is you can make it truly outstanding.
— Ralph Marston

~Seventh Step Prayer ~

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character, which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding.  Amen 

                                                                              (Page 76 - A. A. Big Book)

The cut worm forgives the plow

The cut worm forgives the plow.
  —William Blake

Would anyone believe that rain abuses grass, or accuse roots, hungry for a better hold on life, of digging too far into earth's flesh? And if the earth should have to quake, would anyone blame it for cracking here and there? Look closely at the small world of busy life overturned in the garden each spring. No ant there curses another bug, and no worm curses itself. Though they can neither speak nor think, even small creatures know enough to accept their pain as a natural part of life.

Why, then, should we waste time blaming others, or ourselves, for the natural sensations of life?

Today is when

Today is when your life is happening. Now is when life’s opportunities are yours.
Within you is a dream, a longing, a purpose, a desire to experience life’s richness in your own unique way. Surrounding you is a universe filled with energy and abundance, and possibilities.
Now is when you have the opportunity to connect your most treasured dreams with that abundance, and to bring them to life. Focused, purposeful, inspired action is how you can most effectively do so.
On this day, in this moment, the possibilities are more than just intellectual curiosities. Right now, the possibilities are real.
Today you can choose, you can take action, you can make a difference and you can make real, satisfying, lasting progress. Today you have the priceless opportunity to live your life as you envision it.
The best life you can imagine is today within your grasp. So go beyond mere imagining, and live each moment in the direction of the very best you know life can be.
— Ralph Marston

Read more: http://www.greatday.com/#ixzz1wLoaNGY8

Foot prints in the sand

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace - that where there is hatred, I may bring love - that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness - that where there is discord, I may bring harmony - that where there is error, I may bring truth - that where there is doubt, I may bring faith - that where there is despair, I may bring hope - that where there are shadows, I may bring light - that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in the giving that we receive; it is in the pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

Just For Today

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be".
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least 2 things I don't want to do - just for the exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. During this half-hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give unto me.

Monday, May 29,2012

 

Confidently forward

The difficulties can get you down, but only if you let them. The setbacks can make you discouraged, but only if you allow them to do so.
You always have another choice. You can choose to focus on the good places you intend to go to, instead of on the painful places you’ve had to go through.
Sure, life is tough and the journey is difficult. Yet at the same time life can be exquisitely beautiful and immensely rewarding.
It doesn’t really accomplish anything to complain about, or to dwell on, life’s unfairness. What will make a positive difference is to put your energy and enthusiasm into following a meaningful purpose.
Decide that you will put the difficulties to work for you. Let them inspire you and make you more and more determined.
Each time you experience a setback, use it as an opportunity to remind you of the good and desirable places you intend to go. Then step confidently forward, leave that negative incident behind, and move ahead with more energy and passion than ever before.
— Ralph Marston

Read more: http://www.greatday.com/#ixzz1wG11PiUH

Michael W Smith (prince of peace)

AA and Jesus

How Ancient Spiritual Teachings are Linked to the Inspirational Program of Alcoholics Anonymous

On my way to a favorite bar, I sometimes passed a church sign whose blazing neon letters proclaimed: "JESUS SAVES."
The message annoyed me because I thought it was in poor taste and tended to intrude on my privacy. I resented the zeal of those who would erect such a sign. I agreed that the world needed saving, but it would be saved by tolerant, broadminded people like myself, not by religious zealots. I hurried on towards neon signs that seemed more inviting and to companions who did not threaten my way of thinking.
That was in the late 1940s. By April 1950 my reasonable way of thinking had landed me in a state hospital as an alcoholic patient. It hit me, then, that there were some problems which individuals could not solve by intelligent reasoning or personal determination. One of them was alcoholism, and a mere glance about the hospital ward told me that there were other more sinister human problems. In short, I needed saving---from myself. At the same time, I realized that I had no answers for the others in the hospital, the victims of terrible mental and physical diseases.
Well, my answer came via AA. Its principles and practices have carried me over some very rough spots in the years since 1950.  In its way, curiously enough, AA has been a form of personal salvation like that offered by the old time religionists who proclaimed that "Jesus Saves." It has neither altar call nor sawdust trail, but some of its best ideas appear to have come from the teachings of Jesus. In fact, some of AA’s most novel and radical ideas are not new or different at all; they are just new and different in our time. Here are a few of them that first saw the light of day in the sayings of Jesus:
Anonymity
By all accounts, the principle of anonymity came to AA in a gradual way, and was discovered almost by chance. There were members who didn’t want their association with the fellowship to be known, so the pioneers instituted a policy of discreet silence. The AA founders also worried about what would happen if a well-publicized member slipped, so anonymity was also an attractive way to protect the society from unfavorable publicity. Then the AA book was published under the title "Alcoholics Anonymous," chosen because its authors had no bylines. The name caught on for the society and has become so identified with the ideal of mutual help in problem-solving that other societies have adopted the "anonymous" tag.
But anonymity also has a deep spiritual purpose. It is the spiritual purpose that Jesus must have had in mind when he warned against doing good for public praise: "Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them; otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.  When thou doest alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee…That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly."
The Trusted Servant
Another of AA’s startling ideas has been the tradition that "our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern." In a world that writhes with power struggles, AA has been almost unique in putting a severe limitation on the authority, tenure, and prestige of its leaders. And for good reason. Power struggles, by their very nature, generate the bitterness and resentment that would destroy our effectiveness in carrying the message. We cannot afford the strife that seems to be second nature to many organizations.
Where did AA get this radical idea about limiting the power of leaders? It may have been inspired, in part, by Jesus’ instructions to his own disciples: "Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them…But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant."
Attraction Rather Than Promotion
It is nothing short of miraculous that AA settled upon a policy of "attraction rather than promotion" quite soon after its origin. The very first AA member was a stockbroker skilled in the arts of salesmanship and persuasion, while others who soon followed him into AA were advertising men and business promoters of all types. What convinced those promoter types that something besides the established ways of publicizing and advancing an enterprise was needed for AA? If promotion is good for business, why isn’t it good for AA?
One reason for rejecting promotion is that we have nothing to sell. Another reason may be in the ethics of the thing:; promotion would be bad for us in the same way that it’s deemed to be bad for certain professional people.** But the best reason for putting aside promotion may be that it’s simply inferior to attraction, which is more appropriate for a spiritual fellowship.
**Since the time this was written, professionals have begun to advertise, making the comparison expressed here somewhat out of date!
Attraction is also more lasting, because it tends to work on real feelings of the heart rather than surface desires. Heavy promotion might cause us to buy a certain automobile, but it would never keep many of us in AA for long.
This form of reaching others was called "letting your light shine" in the sayings of Jesus: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." The same thought is evident in the writing of Emerson and others: we attract people by what we are and not necessarily by what we say or do. If we are sincere and unselfish, people intuitively understand this and seek us out for help, but if we are hypocritical and self-seeking they will turn away. It is always the quality of AA that counts, never the quantity of publicity that happens to be coming our way.
Placing Principles Before Personalities
One of the characteristics attributed to alcohol is that "it’s no respecter of persons." Oddly enough, this same attribute is often applied to God; again and again, we hear that "He is no respecter of persons." Both sayings are true for the same reason: "Principles are no respecters of persons and always take precedence over personalities."
The alcoholic in his cups does not understand this truth. He grovels before certain people, tries to grind certain others in the dust, plots vengeance against those who have harmed him, and makes pitiful attempts to love and to reward the few who approve of him. He tends to react to others rather than to respond to them in accordance with certain principles in his own life. Thus, it is all right in this distorted way of thinking to behave badly towards some people because they "deserve" it, and it is all right to cheat some individuals and to steal from others.
Alcoholics are not the only people who fail to place principles before personalities, and the problem must have been rampant in Jesus’ day. Hence the following saying, one of the great utterances of all time: "Ye have heard that it hath been said, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. ‘ "
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you."
"That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."
"For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same?"
"And if ye salute your brethern only, what do ye more than others? Do not even the publicans so?"
"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."
It should be obvious that the principles of Jesus which have been stated in one form or another in the AA Traditions directly concern the ordering of the society of Alcoholics Anonymous, whereas the AA Twelve Steps directly apply to the individual. The Twelve Steps are indeed the vital organs of AA, but the Traditions are the bones or framework without which the Steps would cease to function.
Inventory, Confession, and Restitution
Jesus also contributed ideas to AA’s Twelve Steps, though these principles for personal recovery depended on AA’s founding members for their present form. It is not true, as some AA members believe, that the Twelve Steps can be related to similar passages in the Holy Bible. With one or two exceptions, such passages are not to be found. But it certainly is true that the ideas of the Twelve Steps and certain thoughts in specific scriptures can be paralleled.
The idea of taking personal inventory can be discerned in Jesus’ emphasis on "cleaning the inside of the cup" and his statement that it is what comes out of the mouth (and the heart) that defiles a man. He also warned against taking the other person’s inventory: "Judge not that ye be not judged…And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
Confession, or AA’s Fifth Step, comes from the Book of James, which is sometimes called the "Little Sermon on the Mount" and closely approximates, in tone at least, the teachings directly attributable to Jesus: "Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
Restitution, AA’s Ninth and Tenth Steps, is to be found in Jesus’ teachings on being reconciled with one’s brother before bringing gifts to the altar. There is also the idea of agreeing quickly with an adversary and being willing to forgive an endless number of times.
The Lord’s Prayer and the Slogans
The Lord’s Prayer, repeated at the close of AA meetings the world over, comes to us from the Sermon on the Mount, while the AA slogans may also have a New Testament origin:

1) First Things First --- "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

2) Live and Let Live  --- "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her;" (the woman taken in adultery)

3) Easy Does It --- "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

The Prodigal Son and The Good Samaritan
Where in the Bible can we find the First and Twelfth Steps of AA? There are remote parallels in several places, but it seems to me that the parables of The Prodigal Son and The Good Samaritan convey the intent of these steps as much as anything does. I suspect that The Prodigal Son really covers the initial three steps of the program and, in its entirety, symbolizes the Fatherhood of God. The story of The Good Samaritan is our Twelfth Step, and it represents the Brotherhood of Man.
The alcoholic appears in both parables. As the prodigal son, he takes his God-given inheritance of good health and natural talents to a far country, there to squander them in the frantic pursuit of pleasure. Finally he comes to ruin and rejection among the swine, far from his father, far from God. He recognizes his mistakes and realizes that he would be better off back in his father's house (the Second Step), and so he decides to return to his father on whatever terms his father will give him (takes the Third Step). The rest of the story, with its celebration and feast on fatted calf, is well known.
The alcoholic is also the man who takes a journey from Jerusalem to Jericho, in the parable of The Good Samaritan. The road between those two cities is downhill all the way, so the symbolism is clear: the man is doing something wrong and is on the skids. Along the way, he runs into thieves who strip him of his belongings and leave him half dead in a ditch. A priest and a Levite pass on the other side, too busy to bothered with one who may have brought most of his trouble on himself.
Things are hopeless until that great Twelfth Stepper, the Good Samaritan, arrives on the scene and takes charge. He takes the victim to a hostelry, and dresses his wounds with oil and wine. Since oil and wine often represent God’s Love and Life in the Bible, we can conclude that something of great spiritual importance is taught here. It is this: if we love our fellow man and pour our own lives into helping him in his hour of distress, we are doing the work of Eternal Love and Eternal Life. Faith without works is dead, it passes by on the other side of the road. But the most ordinary man, if he is willing to serve, can put into practice God’s healing Love and Life. Come to think of it, maybe the Good Samaritan is also the alcoholic, and he helped because he too had once been half-dead in a ditch.

---

On my way to an AA meeting, I sometimes see signs whose letters proclaim: "JESUS SAVES." I have no quarrel with such signs now, for I believe that Jesus bequeathed to the ages a saving truth that is with us today in AA. It is as if he stood as a silent partner in the historic meeting of Bill W. and Dr. Bob in 1935. It is as if he sat in on every AA meeting. It is almost as if Jesus himself came again among winebibbers to give them the new wine that does not perish.
 By Mel B., Toledo, Ohio

Freshmen in high school.

By my freshmen year I addicted to pot,and loved to party as much as I could. My mom & Willy didn't hardly let me do anything so I would sneak out of my bedroom in the middle of the night to go out and party.
We would do somethings like go to the truck pulls as a family til mom had my brother Willyam other than that we would go to the dealers house.So Willy started taking me and we would meet his friends there,and they would bring a big container of long island tea,or some kind of alcohol,and we always had pot.So I would always end up drunk when we went. One night on the way home I blacked out and I vaguely remember my step dad holding me down telling me I better not tell anyone,and next thing I know I see a light shinning in the window it was a cop asking if everything was ok, and my step dad said oh yes she was choking,and the cop actually bought his it.My step dad ended up rapping me,and I had no clue how to tell my mom since she already treated me differently than she did my sister. I started drinking even more than normal when I would sneak out at night. One night when I snuck out my mom went to my bedroom to find me gone, so she called the police. Here I was running around with the man that turned out to be my first husband and some other friends. We were out ridding motorcycles and happened to drive by my house and here there were 3 cop cars parked in front of my house. We took off back to Jason's house and parked the motorcycles in the garage.There were 4 of us and Michelle and I were both in trouble,and we were trying to figure out what exactly we were gonna do.Michelle decided to go home and deal with whatever was gonna happen. For me I wasn't ready to.I thought about everything for several hours,and finally after talking to Jason about it I decided it was time to tell my mom about her husband rapping me,so I called my mother, and I told her and I don't remember the exact nature of our conversation since I was scared to death to tell her. I was told that I was not welcome back into her home,and that if I was found by the police I was to be put in juvenile for running away.I couldn't believe how cold she became,and that she was blaming me for what had happened
.Jason's parent never were to thrilled about me cause they knew that I smoked pot,but they were willing to allow me to live there as long as I went to school,and did the best I could.I always went to school so I had no problem with their rules. To be continued............

When I say I am a Christian

"When I say "I'm a Christian", I'm not shouting, "I am saved," I am whispering, "I was lost!" That is why I chose His way. When I say "I'm a Christian", I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble, needing God to be my guide. When I say "I'm a Christian", I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing I am weak and pray for strength to carry on. When I say, "I'm a Christian", I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt. When I say, "I'm a Christian", I don't think I know it all. I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught. When I say "I'm a Christian", I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are too visible, but God believes I'm worth it! When I say I'm a Christian, I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, which is why I seek His name. When I say, "I'm a Christian", I do not wish to judge. I have no authority, I only know that I am loved.

God Said No

I asked God to take away my pride,
And God said, “No.”
He said it was not for Him to take away,
But for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole,
And God said, “No.”
He said her spirit is whole.
Her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said, “No.”
He said patience is a by-product of tribulation.
It isn’t granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said, “No.”
He said He gives blessings,
Happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain,
And God said, “No.”
He said, “Suffering draws you apart from
Worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.”

I asked God to make my spirit grow,
And God said, “No.”
He said I must grow on my own,
But he will prune me to make it fruitful.

I asked God if He loved me,
And God said, “Yes.”
He gave me His only son, who died for me.
And I will be in Heaven someday
Because… I believe.

I asked God to help me love others
As much as He loves me,
And God said,
“Ah finally, you have the idea.”

-By Claudia Minden Welsz

Middle school 7th & 8th grade

 

Once we arrived in Arizona things only got worse. I was calling my grandmother & dad on a regular base crying wanting to come home. I didn't feel like I fit in.Here I ended up running up a really high phone bill, and I ended up grounded for that,and had to work off that.It didn't take long before I was jealous of my sister Wendy,it seemed like my mom favored her.

The summer ended,and it was time to go to school I was in 7th grade. Course the cloths that I was forced to wear were anything,but stylish so again I didn't feel like I fit in.

I don't remember exactly how it happened,but I ended up smoking pot with my mom & step dad. I was allowed to at home,but not before school.I found my escape through smoking pot I loved it. I also was smoking cigarettes.I was not allowed to smoke cigarettes I would get grounded for that. Then I started getting to know the kids at school that were par driers,and then I started taking pot from my parents,and started sharing it with people. That is how I started making so called friends. This went on through out middle school. I also was allowed to drink alcohol.My first time drinking I was playing spin the bottle with some friends, and I blacked out,and I ended up getting raped by 2 guys. My first husband happened to show up,and went and got my mother,my mother was so angry with me.When I came to the next day around 1:00 in the afternoon I didn't remember very much and I had hickies all over my neck and I barely remembered anything.This made me feel horrible about myself,and I was so afraid of what people would think of me. You would think that would have made me stop drinking,but it only made me drink more.I always went to school,but I went to school high, and I would get high during lunch time as well.I was known for my drugs not only by my friends,but their parents and the  teachers as well.Can't believe that I never got in trouble for getting high or for having it at school. 

to be continued..      

Daily our spirits are renewed.

For most of us, a spiritual awakening does not come once and for all.
Instead, we have small flashes of insight here and there, and every once in
a while we look back and realize with gratitude how the promises of our
journey have been coming true for us.

Just as our bodies need daily nourishment, so do our spirits. We can seek
people and experiences that leave us feeling warm and uplifted. We can take
time each day to become quiet in mind and body so that we hear the inner
messages that refresh our spirits. We can read something inspirational,
listen to good music, look at a beautiful painting or a sunset, grasp a
friend's hand in understanding, and say a prayer.

Our spirits bounce back from hurt and depression. They are more easily
renewed when we take proper care of our bodies, since we are a total entity
of heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Today, I will look for ways to feed my spirit.

from the book: Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L

Thoughts

Freedom

My younger years

My name is Tina I was born in Colville, Washington on the reservation on 9/12/69.
I was raised by my step dad w/my half brother. My mother left when I was 2 1/2 she was a teen mother w/a drug and alcohol problem.I have never met my biological father,and up til a recently my mom had never even discussed him with me. She decided since my step  dad had taken his life that it was time to tell me a name. I don't know if he even knows about me.His name isn't even on my birth certificate.
My mother had left my brother,and I with a friend of her's, and then we ended up in foster care. My mother's friend contacted my step father,he and his new wife,and my aunt came,and got us out of foster care. From there we were taken to our new home which was a 3 bedroom mobile home. My step mom had 2 older children of her own, they were teen agers a boy and a girl.Our step mom was only nice to me in front of our dad,but wasn't so nice to me behind our dad's (my dad was alcoholic) back,she called me a mother hen and other names because I was very protective over my brother because of being in foster care. She would give me dirty looks when dad was around and ect....Things only got worse with my step mom as I got older she seemed to nitpick at every thing. When I was about 4 my step brother started molesting me this went on til I was about 10,and it stopped because my dad,and step mom divorced.I felt so horrible about myself and dirty. Going to elementary school I didn't feel like I fit in, people called me names,and I didn't have many friends.So I figured that it must be true,and so I really felt horrible about myself, and grew to hate myself.I mean hey my mom didn't even want me as a baby so I must be a horrible person is how I was thinking.