Sunday, September 2, 2012

In loving memory of Mae Vera Webb

 Broken Chain Little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for part of us went with you the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Third step prayer



God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Detaching in Relationships



Detaching in Relationships

When we first become exposed to the concept of detachment, many of us find it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching means we don't care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying, and trying to force things to happen, we're showing how much we care.

We may believe that controlling, worrying, and forcing will somehow affect the outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying, and forcing don't work. Even when we're right, controlling doesn't work. In some cases, controlling may prevent the outcome we want from happening.

As we practice the principle of detachment with the people in our life, we slowly begin to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably detaching with love, is a relationship behavior that works.

We learn something else too. Detachment - letting go of our need to control people - enhances all our relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace and harmony.

Detachment means we care, about others and ourselves. It frees us to make the best possible decisions. It enables us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same.

It allows our Higher Power to step in and work.

Today, I will trust the process of detaching with love. I will understand that I am not just letting go; I am letting go and letting God. I'm loving others, but I'm loving myself too.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990,

Friday, August 17, 2012

our reactions






Our Reactions
The next time you find yourself stuck in a long line at an ATM machine, traffic jam, or supermarket checkout counter, resist your urge to react. Do not get frustrated. Do not become impatient. Do not get angry. The line is there to test you, and to give you an opportunity not to react. But if you do react, the situation controls you. The situation becomes the cause and you the effect.
~Yehuda Berg

Today's Affirmation
Today, I experience love wherever I go.

Today's Meditation

Know that you have divine resources within you to get you successfully through any problem or difficulty.
You have enough energy, enough abundance, enough creative ideas, enough emotional and mental support, enough healing-know that you have within you all that you need to get you through every situation.
God within you is always enough.
God is always sufficient.
Your every need is met in God.
You are filled with the presence and power of light and energy.
You have what it takes within you to move with confidence and expectancy into the fulfillment you desire.
And so it is.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Past the Past


"Failed recovery is responding to present-day situations with yesterday's emotional package-which you used back when the situation was totally different. Serenity or living in a state of recovery is all about letting yesterday be yesterday and today be today. Recovery is training ourselves by practicing daily disciplines to act in the present as the present and not from the emotional stance of a thousand past yesterdays."
~Earnie Larsen

Today's Affirmation
I am past the past—my time is now!

Today's Meditation
Dear God,

I do not understand why I hang onto certain events and feelings from the past.
Intellectually I accept and understand that the past is over.
I honor my story and recognize the part that all of my yesterdays played in bringing me to now.
I release and surrender past hurts, loves, jobs, wrongs, mis-creations, missed opportunities, experiences, joys, and sorrows.
I forgive myself and all other persons knowing that we did the best we knew how.
Those times are over; the past is past.
I choose to be fully awake and alive in this moment.
With Your guidance, I open myself to the gift of the present.
Thank You, God.
Amen

Friday, July 27, 2012

Letting Go


Letting Go

Stop trying so hard to control things. It is not our job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, and life. Maybe in the past we couldn't trust and let things happen. But we can now. The way life is unfolding is good. Let it unfold.

Stop trying so hard to do better, be better, and be more. Who we are and the way we do things is good enough for today.

Who we were and the way we did things yesterday was good enough for that day.

Ease up on ourselves. Let go. Stop trying so hard.

Today, I will let go. I will stop trying to control everything. I will stop trying to make myself be and do better, and I will let myself be. 
This is a tall order for today as it was for yesterday as well. I'm not liking to much what I'm having to let go. I feel like I am still in shock over it all. Yes I want to put my hands in there and try control it,but that just will make things a lot worse. and wont fix things.I know that once it really sinks it's gonna hit me harder than it has. 
I also need to remember this isn't about me even though it sure feels personal. 
All I know is that I still can't believe that this is happening,and I am saddened by this. I keep wishing this was a bad dream :( ,but it's not, and I need to accept it,and move through the process. .
It says above that how life is unfolding is good so let it unfold, I don't see the good in this now,just as I never have during sad times or difficult times. This situation is gonna be what it's gonna be regardless of how I decide to go through it. I am powerless over others, all I can do is control how I deal with this. Right now I'm still in shock, and having a rough time accepting what is going on. I need to really spend more time with God.
He Can
I can't
So I will let Him.
   

Today's Gift


In summer I am very glad
We children are so small,
For we can see a thousand things
That men can't see at all.
  —Laurence Alma-Tadema

Out behind the house a little boy is turning over stepping-stones, which form the sidewalk. Underneath these stones he has discovered many different kinds of worms and bugs. They wiggle this way and that when their cover is removed. He is only four, but he is the only one in the family who has made this discovery.

In a child's eyes there are many wonderful things, which escape the attention of the adult world. In order to see them, we must often take the time to let those younger than us show the way. Even though we may have lost our own childlike view of the world, others can guide us and thereby enrich our lives. We have much to teach and share with each other, regardless of our ages.

What can I learn from one younger than me today?

Monday, July 23, 2012

Since spiritual discernment is the ability to see life from God's perspective, it requires that we know how He thinks and acts. The Bible is His unchanging, infallible revelation of Himself. However, the Lord doesn't simply give us a list of facts about His character and ways. All throughout the pages of Scripture, He illustrates who He is and how He operates.
Although the Bible is ancient, it's not a dead book. It's alive and as fresh as if He were speaking directly to you. The stories may have taken place centuries ago, but the principles and applications are current and relevant. It's our instruction book about how to live. Guidance for decisions and discernment about situations are found from Genesis to Revelation.
God's Word is active and piercing. The words don't simply sit on the page. They penetrate our hearts and judge our thoughts and motives. This convicting quality is why some people don't like to read the Bible. But self-discernment is essential if we don't want to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Some Christians live on a surface level, never understanding why they react to situations the way they do. But if we'll approach the Word of God with an open spirit, it will bring to light our hidden motives and reveal unrecognized sins.
Spiritual discernment involves seeing not just our circumstances but also ourselves from God's perspective. Have you learned to embrace the piercing sword of Scripture, or have you avoided doing so because it makes you uncomfortable? Remember, God's Word cuts only so that it can heal.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Seek Spiritual Discernment


Proverbs 2
At one time or another, we have all felt confused, uncertain, or misled. We can live victoriously and confidently only by possessing spiritual discernment-- ability to see life from God's perspective. We need His help to distinguish between right and wrong, good and best, truth and error.
Each day we make many decisions--some trivial and others critical. The Lord doesn't want us to form judgments based on mere appearance or limited human reasoning. But with the world so full of deceptive information, how would we, on our own, know what to believe? God desires that we see the reality of each situation as He does. We can fully trust the Lord with our relationships as well. Since He knows every person's heart, the only way we can wisely interact with others is to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit within us.
Although God gives each of His children the capacity for spiritual discernment, many Christians are unaware of it. They stumble through life doing the best they can but fail to use this wonderful provision. Others don't think they need it. They make choices according to their own knowledge and reasoning, never giving the Lord a second thought. Unless we cooperate with God in the development of His wonderful gift of discernment, it will lie dormant within us.
A discerning spirit begins with a humble, teachable attitude. If you've been handling decisions, situations, and relationships through your own wisdom, confess this to God. Then ask for His perspective and search His Word for direction. Your wisdom will grow, and discernment will protect you.

 I love the connection that I get when our pastor at church is giving a sermon I always feel the spiritual movement . I find strength in numbers when we gather at church.I belong to a large church about 200 members.
I have always had a pretty strong discernment,but I haven't always followed it because I didn't want it to be true.That kept me in unhealthy relationship and kept me in my addiction. 
.I'm going through something right now that has happened in the past,and I'm believing that the same thing is happening again,as much as I pray that it's not, I don't know much of another  explanation there can be sighs...... I'm leaning on God to the best of my ability.

Each Day a New Beginning


How I relate to my inner self-influences my relationships with all others. My satisfaction with myself and my satisfaction with other people are directly proportional.
  —Sue Atchley Ebaugh

Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.

Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience - assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.

Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.

My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.

Learning to Trust Again


Many of us have trust issues.

Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.

Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.

Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.

Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.

In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.

We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.

We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.

When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.

Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.

Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Each day new begining


I have listened to the realm of the Spirit. I have heard my own soul's voice, and I have remembered that love is the complete and unifying thread of existence.
  —Mary Casey

The act of loving someone else brings us together, closes whatever the gap between us. It draws us into the world of another, making richer the world we call our own. Love is the great equalizer.

We no longer wish to conquer or dominate those whom we love. And our love for one increases our capacity for loving others. Love heals another, and love heals ourselves, both giving it and receiving it.

Love from another acknowledges our existence, assuring us that we do count, that someone else values our presence. It is human to need these reminders, these assurances. But our need for them is lessened each time we acknowledge another person in our midst.

Where love is absent, people, even in a crowd, feel alone, forgotten, and unimportant. No doubt we can each recall times of quiet desperation moments of alienation. We must reach out to someone and send thoughts of love to someone who may need to be remembered. Our loving thoughts for persons close and far away always reach their destination. They do unify us.

Love is powerful. It can change the complexion of the universe. It will change the direction of my life.

Todays Gift


Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so.
  —Emile Corie

How we think about the activities before us is very important. If we think cleaning the garage is hard, dirty, and no chance for fun, that's just how it will feel. We'll be tired before we even begin. However, if we approach it like a treasure hunt, expecting to rediscover some long-forgotten treasures, we'll enjoy the task. In fact, it will feel like a game.

The thoughts we carry in our minds determine whether our tasks are fun or not. What good fortune it is that we can control those thoughts. If we approach an assignment for school or a job believing that we're able to do it, that it's not too hard for us, we'll finish with ease. Our thoughts determine our successes. In this way, our lives are in our own hands.

How much better can I make my life today?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Point the way forward Read more:


 

Monday, July 9, 2012

Point the way forward

Don’t let the worst of life get to you. Instead, let the best of life shine through you.
Let your attitude be based on your most positive vision rather than on what may or may not happen. When the world threatens to bring you down, choose to lift the world up.
Set a positive, purposeful agenda for the day and then follow through with action. Show all of life how beautiful and meaningful it can be by the way you live it.
There is enough dismay in the world without you adding to it. Do what is necessary to add to the joy, love, achievement and fulfillment.
Choose to be aggressively, respectfully and authentically positive. Point the way forward with your attitude and your actions.
Change life for the better by the way you look at it and by the way you live it. See the best, be your best, and make your world the best it can be.
— Ralph Marston

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Daily Reflections

AN EVER-GROWING FREEDOM
 
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.
 
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76
 
When I finally asked God to remove those things blocking me from Him and the sunlight of the Spirit, I embarked on a journey more glorious than I ever imagined. I experienced a freedom from those characteristics that had me wrapped up in myself. Because of this humbling Step, I feel clean.

I am especially aware of this Step because I'm now able to be useful to God and to my fellows. I know that He has granted me strength to do His bidding and has prepared me for anyone, and anything, that comes my way today. I am truly in His hands, and I give thanks for the joy that I can be useful today.

Each day a new begining

Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting.
  —Ellen Glasgow

How often we turn minor challenges into monumental barriers by giving them undue attention, forgetting that within any problem lies its solution! However, the center of our focus must be off the problem's tangle if we are to find the solution's thread. The best remedy for this dilemma is the Serenity Prayer.

We cannot change our children, our husbands or partners, not even the best friends who we know love us. But with God's help we can change the attitude that has us blocked at this time. A changed attitude, easing up on ourselves, lessening our expectations of others, will open the door to the kind of relationships we seek, the smooth flowing days we long for.

We need not take life so seriously. In fact, we shouldn't take it so seriously. We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves. The 24 hours stretching before us at this time promises many choices in attitude. We can worry, be mad, depressed, or frustrated, or we can trust our higher power to see us through whatever the situation. So, we can relax. It is our decision, the one decision over which we are not powerless.

I will be in control of my attitude today. I can have the kind of day I long for.

Go with the flow.




Let go of fear and your need to control. Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away, as you dive into the river of the present moment, the river of your life, your place in the universe.

Stop trying to force the direction. Try not to swim against the current, unless it is necessary for your survival. If you've been clinging to a branch at the riverside, let go.

Let yourself move forward. Let yourself be moved forward.

Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can't, stay relaxed. Staying relaxed can take your safely through fierce currents. If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.

Appreciate the beauty of the scenery, as it is. See things with freshness, with newness. You shall never pass by today's scenery again!

Don't think too hard about things. The flow is meant to be experienced. Within it, care for yourself. You are part of the flow, an important part. Work with the flow. Work within the flow. Thrashing about isn't necessary. Let the flow help you care for yourself. Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time. You can trust the flow, and your part in it.

Today, I will go with the flow.

Hurry, hurry has no blessing.

Hurry, hurry has no blessing.
  —Swahili Proverb

In a busy family there is a lot of activity. We sometimes feel imprisoned by all the work, school, extracurricular activities, housework, meetings, and special events. In the press to do it all, we may lose our peace because of the hurry. We rush to eat; we rush to work; we rush to get there on time. Much of this cannot be helped. But hurry has no blessing, as the proverb goes. We can create quick tempers and a lot of frustration if we try to hurry too much.

When we allow enough time to slow things down, we give ourselves a chance to enjoy what we're doing, and to develop along spiritual lines. Inner peace depends on our keeping a balance in all the things we do. Only then can we feel the joy that comes from having enough time to do things quietly and smoothly, and value the inner peace that comes when we do not hurry.

How can I take my time today and enjoy myself?

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Fear and Faith



The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one
that can never be wholly completed.  When under heavy attack, acute 
illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to 
this emotion -- well or badly, as the case may be.  Only the self-
deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263

Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith.  There 
are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm 
experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart.  
Faith and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -- helps me 
endure tragedy and ecstasy.  When I choose to give all of my fears 
over to my Higher Power,  I will be free.

In Touch Daily Devotional July 7

 
Exodus 3:10-17
God called Moses to do a great work for Him that would also bless the Israelites. Moses' response to this awesome invitation was to offer excuses for why he couldn't obey. This attitude--which I call a "faith barrier"--can thwart us spiritually.
In Moses' life, we see areas of weakness that can create such a barrier:
Poor self-image. When God gave the command to go to Pharaoh and lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses' immediate response was to say, "Who am I?" Perhaps he was thinking of his occupation as a lowly shepherd living in Midian. Maybe he was referring to his lineage--He was part of the Hebrew race that was enslaved in Egypt. Or He might have been recalling his past, when he killed an Egyptian and had to flee Egypt (Ex. 2:12). The Lord answered his objection with a wonderful promise: "I will be with you" (3:12).
Ignorance. In order to carry out God's plan, we need to believe fully in the One who has called us. When Moses questioned his assignment again, the Lord answered by revealing Himself as the great I AM and the One who had promised to rescue the Israelites (vv. 14-17). By trusting in the character and promises of almighty God, Moses would be able to carry out this seemingly impossible assignment.
Faith barriers hinder the flow of divine power in our life, slow spiritual growth, and prevent us from fully carrying out God's will. We must remember who He is, who we are, and where power comes from. That is, He's Sovereign over all, we're new creations in Christ, and His Spirit empowers us.

EACH DAY A NEW BEGINING

. that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
  —Doris Lessing

As we are changed by our experiences, that which we know also changes. Our experiences foster growth and enlightenment, and all awarenesses give way to new understandings. We are forever students of life blessed with particular lessons designed only for us. There is joy in knowing that learning has no end and that each day offers us a chance to move closer to becoming the persons we are meant to be.

To understand something more deeply requires that we be open to the ideas of others, willing to part with our present opinions. The program offers us many opportunities to trade in the understandings we've outgrown. Throughout our recovery we have discovered new interpretations of old ideas. And we will continue to expand our understanding.

Every situation, every person, every feeling, every idea has a slightly different hue each time we encounter it. The wonder of this is that life is forever enriched, forever fresh.

Each moment offers me a chance to know better who I am and to understand more fully the real contribution that is mine to make in this life. I will let the anticipation of my changing ideas excite me.

Language of letting go

Getting It All Out

Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.

What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?

We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.

Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.

Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.

We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.

Today, I will let it all out if I need a release. 


I grew up in a alcoholic home,and was taught that you don't share things with people.,. I walked on egg shells around my dad so not to upset him.  I grew up wanting to please my dad. I was daddy's little girl. 
 I went through school not opening up to anyone nor did I have many friends. I didn't feel like I fit in. 
When I was 13 I went to live with my mom who had left me when I was 2 years old. My mother and step dad smoked pot so here I was having to keep secrets.
I grew up to be a alcoholic and a addict and to be very codependent. All of the relationships that I got into I became who they wanted me to be,and did whatever they wanted me to whether I wanted to or not just to keep them happy. The only time that I didn't do as I was told or keep my mouth shut was when I got drunk and then I would get angry and take it way to far,and I would feel guilt,and remorse the next day. 
Being codependent has really taken a toll on my life it has lead me to depression& anger and  even physical sickness. I believe that it all was fear based..
the codependent behavior really started to change for me once I got sick and tired of being sick and tired,and that was 5 1/2 years after I was sober. I had been taken through the 12 steps and had seen how I was playing the victim and being a martyr the past 5 1/2 years of my recovery. I was walking around allowing others to say and do things and then I wouldn't stand up for myself,but then I would hold a resentment and go whine about it. 
Today I don't do that thanks to working the 12 steps I have learned how to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes I still struggle with sharing my feelings,but thank God I have close friends in recovery that know me well enough that know me well enough to know when I'm not ok ,and then I open up and share my feelings. Why I don't do it sooner I don't know cause I always feel better, thank God  it's progress not perfection.I will probably be working on this the rest of my life.

Todays Gift

I found words to every thought I ever had, but one . . .
  —Emily Dickinson

What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.

What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words? 

Friday, July 6, 2012

Each day new begining

Peace, she supposed, was contingent upon a certain disposition of the soul, a disposition to receive the gift that only detachment from self made possible.
  —Elizabeth Goudge

Self-centeredness, egocentrism, and selfishness are familiar to most of us. We have judged our world and all the situations and people in it in terms of how their existence affects our own. We have become tied to him or to her or to a situation just as surely as an anchor to a boat. Most of us learned in very early childhood to read others' behaviors. And we determined our own worth accordingly.

As adult women we still struggle, trying to read another's actions, hoping to find acceptance. Which means we are always vulnerable, exposing our "self" to the whims of other, equally vulnerable "selves." What we search for is peace and security. We think if others love and accept us, we'll be at peace. We'll know serenity. A most important lesson for us to learn in this life is that peace is assured when we anchor ourselves to our God. Peace, well-being, serene joy will accompany our every step when we expose our vulnerable selves to God's care and only God's care. We'll no longer need to worry about the self we try to protect. It will be handled with care.

Peace awaits me today. I will look to God, and only God, to know that all is well, that I am all that I need to be.

Todays gift

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
  —Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

Dreams

 
Dreams
“Listen to your dreams. They are the whispers of your heart telling you all you’ll ever need to be happy.”
~Belva Davis

Affirmation:
I am co-creating a new life with God.

Today's Prayer:
Dear God,

You know the dreams I have long-held in secret and even the dreams I have forgotten about.
Dreams of the way the world can be for me personally and for all of us.
Sometimes, I have ignored my dreams, thinking that they were "too big" for
me.
I realize that You have placed these longings in my mind and heart.
I believe that with and through You, all things are possible.
I consciously place my dreams in Your hands.
Show me what I must do and who I must be in order to manifest the
life You inspire in me.
I open myself to receive Your wisdom, guidance and assistance.
Thank You very much.
Amen

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Celebrate


Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, and your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy - their attitudes, beliefs, and pain - on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, and rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God's creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that are there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.

Daily reflections



A NATURAL FAITH
 
. . . deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
 
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55
 
I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eatingand sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.
 
From the book Daily Reflection

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

what goes around comes around

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND – MUST READ :)
——————————-
One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.
He said, ‘I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.’
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad
enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, ‘And think of me.’
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed that the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger.
Then she remembered Bryan ..
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill.
The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: ‘You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.’
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to
serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard….
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, ‘Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.’
There is an old saying ‘What goes around comes around.’ Today I sent you this story, and I’m asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine. God works in mysterious ways and sometimes puts people in our lives for a reason………..<3

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Your time to choose


You can always live the life you choose. Because you can always choose, in each and every moment, how to be.
Sure, life in this world sends all sorts of seemingly random and often disturbing occurrences your way. Yet the choice of how to think and feel about them, and what to do with them, is yours.
It is through the use of that choice that your life is fashioned. From the perspective you select comes the world you experience, in this hour, this month, this decade, this lifetime.
Whatever comes, will come and go. What you choose to do with it, is what makes your life the way it is.
It is never too late, and you are never too far off track to live the way you wish to live. For in this very next moment, no matter what it may contain, you can choose how, and why, to proceed.
You never have to resign yourself to less than the best. For now is always your time to choose.
— Ralph Marston

Friday, June 1, 2012

Encourage yourself


Many times, the situations and events in your life won’t offer you much encouragement. On top of that, even other people may not have much encouragement to give you.
But that doesn’t mean you have to go without any encouragement. After all, you are perfectly capable of encouraging yourself.
Remind yourself how truly fortunate you are to be able to experience life’s great wonders. Consider all the positive possibilities that are available to you, even on the most difficult days.
You are marvelously free to think what you wish, to feel the way you choose, and to act in the best interest of yourself and your world. On top of that, you’re surrounded by a magnificent abundance that you can transform into great meaningful value.
Perhaps at the moment life is not offering you much encouragement, but that’s not really a problem. Connect with the joys you’ve already experienced, the possibilities of the present, and your dreams for the future, and you’ll find plenty of encouragement within yourself.
Is your world in need of encouragement, and there’s none to be found? Be the encourager, and you’ll be powerfully encouraged.
— Ralph Marston

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.


Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
 
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
 
When I was drinking, my attitude was totally selfish, totally self-centered; my pleasure and my comfort came first. Now that I am sober, self-seeking has started to slip away. My whole attitude toward life and other people is changing. For me, the first "A" in our name stands for attitude. My attitude is changed by the second "A" in our name, which stands for action. By working the Steps, attending meetings, and carrying the message, I can be restored to sanity. Action is the magic word! With a positive, helpful attitude and regular A.A. action, I can stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. My attitude now is that I am willing to go to any length to stay sober!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Chronic Pain

Let me introduce myself to you,
I am pain.
Not just pain, but Chronic Pain.
Sometimes I am a hot searing pain,
other times I am a sharp shooting pain,
cutting through you like a knife.
And yet at other times I am like a root canal or toothache, that never goes away.
If left uncontrolled, I will rob you of your humor,
I will rob you of your friends and rob you of your dignity.
I will rob you of your job and make your family miserable.
I will take away from you everything that is dear to you
including your very soul.
You can not see me,
As I am invisible to the human eye.
Therefore one should not judge someone
who knows me on a constant daily basis,
for I do not ever go away.
I do not have any friends,
for if left alone,
I destroy them.
If you think you are safe from me,
Please think more than once.
For I can become a part of you,
as quickly as a snow flake falling from the sky;
as easily as a leaf falling from a tree
or raindrops falling from the sky.
No one wants me as a friend;
Because I Am The Enemy!
Many doctors fear me
for they don't or won't treat me!
I am treatable,
but on many times I am not seen
I hide and I lurk in somebody s body,
and many deny I am a part of them;
in fear of being called insane.
Why are doctors afraid of me,
Are they afraid of me because of who I am, and what I can do?
or who my insurance company is?
or is it the Federal Government
in which they fear?
By Paula Baier

Treatment/plus my personal treatment

Treatment



The goal of treatment is pain control and as much mobilization of the affected limb as possible. An individualized treatment plan is designed during your doctor visit, which often combines physical therapy, medications, nerve blocks, and psychosocial support.

Medication
Medications are prescribed to control pain. The type of pain experienced by the patient determines the type of medication prescribed. For information on obtaining low cost or free medicines please click here.

Constant pain caused by inflammation is treated with nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (e.g., aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen, indomethacin).
Constant pain not caused by inflammation is treated with central acting agents such as tramadol (Ultram®).
Stabbing pain and pain that disrupts sleep are treated with antidepressants such as amytriptyline, doxepin, nortriptyline, and trazodone. Oral lidocaine, a somewhat experimental treatment for RSD/CRPS, also may be prescribed.
Sudden sharp pain may be treated with anticonvulsants (e.g., carbamazapine, gabapentin).
Generalized, severe pain that does not respond to other medications may be treated with opioids (e.g., oxycontin, hydrocodnone, propoxyphine, codeine, morphine).
Muscle cramps (spasms and dystonia) can be treated with clonazepam and baclofen.
Localized pain related to nerve injury may be treated with Capsaicin® cream, but its effectiveness has not been proven.
Medications that block selected actions of the sympathetic nervous system, such as clonidine (Catapres®, available in oral and patch formulations), can be useful in some cases.
One of the main drugs used, Neurontin, was the focus of a recent 20/20 epose' article. For details look here

Muscles stiffness may be treated with muscle relaxants such as

Tizanidine (Zanaflex®)
Baclofen
Clonazepam (Klonopin®)
Physical Therapy
Physical therapy should include daily range of motion exercises. Patients should be advised to avoid activities that could accelerate osteoporosis or joint injury.

Nerve Block

Sympathetic nerve block interrupts the transmission of pain signals from a group of nerve cell bodies (called a ganglion). When treating an upper extremity, it is called a stellate ganglion block. A small needle is used to inject an alpha adrenergic antagonist alongside the windpipe. When treating a lower extremity the nerve block is performed in the lower (lumbar).

The procedure, usually performed by an anesthesiologist familiar with the technique, involves the insertion of a needle into the appropriate location and the injection of anesthesia into the ganglion. The effect is monitored over time.

Sympathectomy Patients who have a good but temporary response to nerve block may be candidates for sympathectomy. The goal of surgery is suppression of sympathetic nervous system activity in the affected area.

TENS Unit

A transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) unit may be used to treat the affected area. In some cases, spinal cord stimulators are implanted permanently to supply a low intensity impulse to a location in the spinal cord in an attempt to interrupt the pain signals that are being transmitted to the brain.

Psychosocial Support
RSD/CRPS patients often become depressed and anxious because of chronic pain and loss of physical ability. Counseling, support groups, and chronic pain center programs help patients learn coping strategies and provide emotional and psychological support

My dr tried many different medicines with me and physical therapy,we did not have any success with them. He turned me over to pain management and I had 2 nerve blocks,and I didn't have any relief at all from them. So we talked about the spinal cord stimulator,and set up the appt to have the trial done. I did get a bit of relief from that  during this whole time I was taking percocets getting very little relief. So I did eventually get the spinal cord stimulator put in it seemed to help for the first couple of weeks,but as time went on it seemed like it was making my pain worse so I turned it off, the girl from medtronics thought maybe I just needed to heal more from the surgery. I am not 2 months post surgery and still not getting much relief from the spinal cord stimulator,but I don't think it's the stimulator that don't work I believe that it's the RSD getting worse since my pain is starting to spread into different areas of my leg.My dr has started me on 25 mgs of fetnalyn patch as well now and I still am in a good bit of pain.So this is where we stand with it at this time.   .

RSD ~Reflex sympathetic dystrophy~ My story

Reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), also known as complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), is a chronic progressive neurological condition that affects skin, muscles, joints, and bones. The syndrome usually develops in an injured limb, such as a broken leg. However, many cases of RSD involve only a minor, seemingly inconsequential injury, such as a sprain. And in some cases, no precipitating event can be identified.

Pain may begin in one area or limb and then spread to other limbs. RSD/CRPS is characterized by various degrees of burning pain, excessive sweating, swelling, and extreme sensitivity to touch. Symptoms of RSD/CRPS may recede for years and then reappear with a new injury.

Types
Two types of RSD/CRPS have been defined:

Type 1 - without nerve injury
Type 2 (formerly called causalgia) - with nerve injury
Both types express the same signs and symptoms.

Incidence and Prevalence

Millions of people in the United States may suffer from this chronic pain syndrome. RSD/CRPS affects both men and women, but is more common in women, and can occur at any age, but usually affects people between 40 and 60 years old.

The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes reports that 2% to 5% of peripheral nerve injury patients and 12% to 21% of patients with hemiplegia (paralysis on one side of the body) develop reflex sympathetic dystrophy as a complication. The Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association of America (RSDSA) reports the condition appears after 1% to 2% of bone fractures.

Causes and Risk Factors

RSD/CRPS appears to involve the complex interaction of the sensory, motor, and autonomic nervous systems; and the immune system. It is thought that central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) control over these various processes is somehow changed as a result of the injury.

Conditions associated with the onset of RSD/CRPS include:

Trauma (e.g., bone fracture, gunshot and shrapnel wounds) Spinal cord disorders Cerebral lesions Heart disease, heart attack Hemiplegia (paralysis on one side of the body) Infection Radiation therapy Repetitive motion disorder (e.g., carpal tunnel syndrome) Surgery In 10% to 20% of cases, no direct cause can be found. Injury that precedes the onset of RSD/CRPS may or may not be significant.

RSD Signs and Symptoms

The symptoms of RSD/CRPS may progress in three stages acute, dystrophic, and atrophic although this notion is subject to debate.

Acute: burning pain, swelling, increased sensitivity to touch, increased hair and nail growth in the affected region, joint pain, color and temperature changes; first 1-3 months

Dystrophic: constant pain and swelling, limb feels cool and looks bluish, muscle stiffness and atrophy (wasting of the muscles), early osteoporosis (bone loss), 3-6 months

Atrophic: cool and shiny skin, increased muscle stiffness and weakness, symptoms may spread to another limb

Characteristic signs and symptoms of sympathetic nervous system involvement are :

Burning pain
Extreme sensitivity to touch
Skin color changes (red or bluish)
Skin temperature changes (heat or cold)
Pain is usually disproportionate to the degree of injury and can be triggered by using the affected limb or by stress and can be spontaneous or constant.

Symptoms associated with an immune reaction include:

Joint pain
Redness
Swelling
Accumulated immune cells in the site
Frequent infections

Signs of motor system dysfunction include

Difficulty starting movement
Increased muscle tone
Muscle spasm
Tremor
Weakness

Other symptoms include: Migraine headache
Excessive sweating
Fatigue
Dermatitis, eczema
Complications

Patients with any chronic illness, including RSD/CRPS, often suffer from depression and anxiety. Skin, muscle, and bone atrophy (wasting) are possible complications of the syndrome. Atrophy may occur because of reduced function of the limb.

Diagnosis

RSD/CRPS can be difficult to diagnose and often requires excluding other conditions that produce similar symptoms. A thorough history and neurological examination is of utmost importance. During the exam, the clinician may notice that the response to mild sensory stimuli produces severe pain.

Physical examination involves observing the skin color and temperature, swelling, and vascular reactivity; overgrown and grooved nails; swollen and stiff joints; muscle weakness and atrophy (wasting).

Other conditions are ruled out with appropriate testing that may include MRI studies, a full laboratory panel, EMG/NCV (electrophysiological studies of the nerves and muscles), and a test known as a thermogram, which uses an infrared video camera to measure the emission of heat from the affected limb.

I was in a motorcycle accident and fractured my femur and went through a year and a half of physical therapy,and made very little progress because of severe pain. My surgeon was baffled and could not figure out why I was still in so much pain because my fracture was healed,but I had pain in my femur area still. My surgeon turned me over to my PAC and I went to see him and my PAC is a wonderful man I've been seeing him for 13 years and he listens to me thank God and this time was no different he listened to me as I explained to him the symptoms that  I was having  the burning the cold the pain when touching it and when I tried walking on it and  I'm in constant pain. My leg is discolored and it is shiney as well. he ordered a EMG and so I went in and had the EMG done and bingo here he knew exactly what he was looking for and it was the RSD. I also get bruises on my leg as well.Now my pain is starting to spread down my leg into my calf.. I am grateful for such a wonderful PAC that is open minded enough to really listen to his patients, it got a diagnoses so much quicker.

What If?

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.

"What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked.

"Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it well."

What if's can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else's hands. What if's are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.

What if's are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what's best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.

The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don't have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don't need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome - even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.

Today, I will not worry about other people's reactions or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.
                                                    

Detachment

                            
: Detachment means "freedom from emotion."  Letting someone else's behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else's "insanity" affect how we behave and how we feel.  At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others' problems or negative behavior. We may fear they'll think we simply don't care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.  I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come

Good morning

~step 10~

I pray I may continue: To grow in understanding and effectiveness; To take daily spot check




 inventories of myself; To correct mistakes when I make them; To take responsibility for my

actions; To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and behaviors; To keep my willfulness in check; To always remember I need Your help; To keep love and tolerance of others as my code; And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my loving Father

Life as it is


Life is not lived in some far-off, imagined land of someday where everything is perfect. It is lived here and now, with the reality of the way things are.
Yes, by all means you can work toward an idealized existence. Yet to do so, you must successfully deal with the world as it is.
That, in fact, is much of what gives life its richness. Even though your present circumstances are less than ideal, you can nonetheless prevail and prosper.
The real and present difficulties never have to give you a reason to give up. On the contrary, they provide you with a clearly defined path for moving forward.
If everything was already perfect, there would be no opportunity to make improvements. There would be no way to enjoy the profound satisfaction of making a positive difference.
Enthusiastically embrace life as it is, with all the ups and downs. For within the context of life as it is you can make it truly outstanding.
— Ralph Marston

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

~Seventh Step Prayer ~

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character, which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding.  Amen 
                                                                              (Page 76 - A. A. Big Book)

The cut worm forgives the plow

The cut worm forgives the plow.
  —William Blake

Would anyone believe that rain abuses grass, or accuse roots, hungry for a better hold on life, of digging too far into earth's flesh? And if the earth should have to quake, would anyone blame it for cracking here and there? Look closely at the small world of busy life overturned in the garden each spring. No ant there curses another bug, and no worm curses itself. Though they can neither speak nor think, even small creatures know enough to accept their pain as a natural part of life.

Why, then, should we waste time blaming others, or ourselves, for the natural sensations of life?

Today is when

Today is when your life is happening. Now is when life’s opportunities are yours.
Within you is a dream, a longing, a purpose, a desire to experience life’s richness in your own unique way. Surrounding you is a universe filled with energy and abundance, and possibilities.
Now is when you have the opportunity to connect your most treasured dreams with that abundance, and to bring them to life. Focused, purposeful, inspired action is how you can most effectively do so.
On this day, in this moment, the possibilities are more than just intellectual curiosities. Right now, the possibilities are real.
Today you can choose, you can take action, you can make a difference and you can make real, satisfying, lasting progress. Today you have the priceless opportunity to live your life as you envision it.
The best life you can imagine is today within your grasp. So go beyond mere imagining, and live each moment in the direction of the very best you know life can be.
— Ralph Marston

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Foot prints in the sand


Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace - that where there is hatred, I may bring love - that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness - that where there is discord, I may bring harmony - that where there is error, I may bring truth - that where there is doubt, I may bring faith - that where there is despair, I may bring hope - that where there are shadows, I may bring light - that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in the giving that we receive; it is in the pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

Just For Today


Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be".
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least 2 things I don't want to do - just for the exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. During this half-hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give unto me.