Past the Past

"Failed recovery is responding to present-day situations with yesterday's emotional package-which you used back when the situation was totally different. Serenity or living in a state of recovery is all about letting yesterday be yesterday and today be today. Recovery is training ourselves by practicing daily disciplines to act in the present as the present and not from the emotional stance of a thousand past yesterdays."
~Earnie Larsen

Today's Affirmation
I am past the past—my time is now!

Today's Meditation
Dear God,

I do not understand why I hang onto certain events and feelings from the past.
Intellectually I accept and understand that the past is over.
I honor my story and recognize the part that all of my yesterdays played in bringing me to now.
I release and surrender past hurts, loves, jobs, wrongs, mis-creations, missed opportunities, experiences, joys, and sorrows.
I forgive myself and all other persons knowing that we did the best we knew how.
Those times are over; the past is past.
I choose to be fully awake and alive in this moment.
With Your guidance, I open myself to the gift of the present.
Thank You, God.
Amen

Letting Go

Letting Go

Stop trying so hard to control things. It is not our job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, and life. Maybe in the past we couldn't trust and let things happen. But we can now. The way life is unfolding is good. Let it unfold.

Stop trying so hard to do better, be better, and be more. Who we are and the way we do things is good enough for today.

Who we were and the way we did things yesterday was good enough for that day.

Ease up on ourselves. Let go. Stop trying so hard.

Today, I will let go. I will stop trying to control everything. I will stop trying to make myself be and do better, and I will let myself be. 
This is a tall order for today as it was for yesterday as well. I'm not liking to much what I'm having to let go. I feel like I am still in shock over it all. Yes I want to put my hands in there and try control it,but that just will make things a lot worse. and wont fix things.I know that once it really sinks it's gonna hit me harder than it has. 
I also need to remember this isn't about me even though it sure feels personal. 
All I know is that I still can't believe that this is happening,and I am saddened by this. I keep wishing this was a bad dream :( ,but it's not, and I need to accept it,and move through the process. .
It says above that how life is unfolding is good so let it unfold, I don't see the good in this now,just as I never have during sad times or difficult times. This situation is gonna be what it's gonna be regardless of how I decide to go through it. I am powerless over others, all I can do is control how I deal with this. Right now I'm still in shock, and having a rough time accepting what is going on. I need to really spend more time with God.
He Can
I can't
So I will let Him.
   

Today's Gift

In summer I am very glad
We children are so small,
For we can see a thousand things
That men can't see at all.
  —Laurence Alma-Tadema

Out behind the house a little boy is turning over stepping-stones, which form the sidewalk. Underneath these stones he has discovered many different kinds of worms and bugs. They wiggle this way and that when their cover is removed. He is only four, but he is the only one in the family who has made this discovery.

In a child's eyes there are many wonderful things, which escape the attention of the adult world. In order to see them, we must often take the time to let those younger than us show the way. Even though we may have lost our own childlike view of the world, others can guide us and thereby enrich our lives. We have much to teach and share with each other, regardless of our ages.

What can I learn from one younger than me today?

Hebrews 4:12-13

Since spiritual discernment is the ability to see life from God's perspective, it requires that we know how He thinks and acts. The Bible is His unchanging, infallible revelation of Himself. However, the Lord doesn't simply give us a list of facts about His character and ways. All throughout the pages of Scripture, He illustrates who He is and how He operates.

Although the Bible is ancient, it's not a dead book. It's alive and as fresh as if He were speaking directly to you. The stories may have taken place centuries ago, but the principles and applications are current and relevant. It's our instruction book about how to live. Guidance for decisions and discernment about situations are found from Genesis to Revelation.

God's Word is active and piercing. The words don't simply sit on the page. They penetrate our hearts and judge our thoughts and motives. This convicting quality is why some people don't like to read the Bible. But self-discernment is essential if we don't want to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Some Christians live on a surface level, never understanding why they react to situations the way they do. But if we'll approach the Word of God with an open spirit, it will bring to light our hidden motives and reveal unrecognized sins.

Spiritual discernment involves seeing not just our circumstances but also ourselves from God's perspective. Have you learned to embrace the piercing sword of Scripture, or have you avoided doing so because it makes you uncomfortable? Remember, God's Word cuts only so that it can heal.

Seek Spiritual Discernment

Proverbs 2
At one time or another, we have all felt confused, uncertain, or misled. We can live victoriously and confidently only by possessing spiritual discernment-- ability to see life from God's perspective. We need His help to distinguish between right and wrong, good and best, truth and error.
Each day we make many decisions--some trivial and others critical. The Lord doesn't want us to form judgments based on mere appearance or limited human reasoning. But with the world so full of deceptive information, how would we, on our own, know what to believe? God desires that we see the reality of each situation as He does. We can fully trust the Lord with our relationships as well. Since He knows every person's heart, the only way we can wisely interact with others is to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit within us.
Although God gives each of His children the capacity for spiritual discernment, many Christians are unaware of it. They stumble through life doing the best they can but fail to use this wonderful provision. Others don't think they need it. They make choices according to their own knowledge and reasoning, never giving the Lord a second thought. Unless we cooperate with God in the development of His wonderful gift of discernment, it will lie dormant within us.
A discerning spirit begins with a humble, teachable attitude. If you've been handling decisions, situations, and relationships through your own wisdom, confess this to God. Then ask for His perspective and search His Word for direction. Your wisdom will grow, and discernment will protect you.

 I love the connection that I get when our pastor at church is giving a sermon I always feel the spiritual movement . I find strength in numbers when we gather at church.I belong to a large church about 200 members.
I have always had a pretty strong discernment,but I haven't always followed it because I didn't want it to be true.That kept me in unhealthy relationship and kept me in my addiction. 
.I'm going through something right now that has happened in the past,and I'm believing that the same thing is happening again,as much as I pray that it's not, I don't know much of another  explanation there can be sighs...... I'm leaning on God to the best of my ability.

Each Day a New Beginning

How I relate to my inner self-influences my relationships with all others. My satisfaction with myself and my satisfaction with other people are directly proportional.
  —Sue Atchley Ebaugh

Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.

Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience - assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.

Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.

My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.

Learning to Trust Again

Many of us have trust issues.

Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.

Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.

Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.

Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.

In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.

We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.

We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.

When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.

Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.

Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.

Each day new begining

I have listened to the realm of the Spirit. I have heard my own soul's voice, and I have remembered that love is the complete and unifying thread of existence.
  —Mary Casey

The act of loving someone else brings us together, closes whatever the gap between us. It draws us into the world of another, making richer the world we call our own. Love is the great equalizer.

We no longer wish to conquer or dominate those whom we love. And our love for one increases our capacity for loving others. Love heals another, and love heals ourselves, both giving it and receiving it.

Love from another acknowledges our existence, assuring us that we do count, that someone else values our presence. It is human to need these reminders, these assurances. But our need for them is lessened each time we acknowledge another person in our midst.

Where love is absent, people, even in a crowd, feel alone, forgotten, and unimportant. No doubt we can each recall times of quiet desperation moments of alienation. We must reach out to someone and send thoughts of love to someone who may need to be remembered. Our loving thoughts for persons close and far away always reach their destination. They do unify us.

Love is powerful. It can change the complexion of the universe. It will change the direction of my life.

Todays Gift

Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so.
  —Emile Corie

How we think about the activities before us is very important. If we think cleaning the garage is hard, dirty, and no chance for fun, that's just how it will feel. We'll be tired before we even begin. However, if we approach it like a treasure hunt, expecting to rediscover some long-forgotten treasures, we'll enjoy the task. In fact, it will feel like a game.

The thoughts we carry in our minds determine whether our tasks are fun or not. What good fortune it is that we can control those thoughts. If we approach an assignment for school or a job believing that we're able to do it, that it's not too hard for us, we'll finish with ease. Our thoughts determine our successes. In this way, our lives are in our own hands.

How much better can I make my life today?

Point the way forward Read more:

 

Monday, July 9, 2012

Point the way forward

Don’t let the worst of life get to you. Instead, let the best of life shine through you.
Let your attitude be based on your most positive vision rather than on what may or may not happen. When the world threatens to bring you down, choose to lift the world up.
Set a positive, purposeful agenda for the day and then follow through with action. Show all of life how beautiful and meaningful it can be by the way you live it.
There is enough dismay in the world without you adding to it. Do what is necessary to add to the joy, love, achievement and fulfillment.
Choose to be aggressively, respectfully and authentically positive. Point the way forward with your attitude and your actions.
Change life for the better by the way you look at it and by the way you live it. See the best, be your best, and make your world the best it can be.
— Ralph Marston

Daily Reflections

AN EVER-GROWING FREEDOM

The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76

When I finally asked God to remove those things blocking me from Him and the sunlight of the Spirit, I embarked on a journey more glorious than I ever imagined. I experienced a freedom from those characteristics that had me wrapped up in myself. Because of this humbling Step, I feel clean. I am especially aware of this Step because I'm now able to be useful to God and to my fellows. I know that He has granted me strength to do His bidding and has prepared me for anyone, and anything, that comes my way today. I am truly in His hands, and I give thanks for the joy that I can be useful today.

Each day a new begining

Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting.
  —Ellen Glasgow

How often we turn minor challenges into monumental barriers by giving them undue attention, forgetting that within any problem lies its solution! However, the center of our focus must be off the problem's tangle if we are to find the solution's thread. The best remedy for this dilemma is the Serenity Prayer.

We cannot change our children, our husbands or partners, not even the best friends who we know love us. But with God's help we can change the attitude that has us blocked at this time. A changed attitude, easing up on ourselves, lessening our expectations of others, will open the door to the kind of relationships we seek, the smooth flowing days we long for.

We need not take life so seriously. In fact, we shouldn't take it so seriously. We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves. The 24 hours stretching before us at this time promises many choices in attitude. We can worry, be mad, depressed, or frustrated, or we can trust our higher power to see us through whatever the situation. So, we can relax. It is our decision, the one decision over which we are not powerless.

I will be in control of my attitude today. I can have the kind of day I long for.

Go with the flow.

Let go of fear and your need to control. Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away, as you dive into the river of the present moment, the river of your life, your place in the universe.

Stop trying to force the direction. Try not to swim against the current, unless it is necessary for your survival. If you've been clinging to a branch at the riverside, let go.

Let yourself move forward. Let yourself be moved forward.

Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can't, stay relaxed. Staying relaxed can take your safely through fierce currents. If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.

Appreciate the beauty of the scenery, as it is. See things with freshness, with newness. You shall never pass by today's scenery again!

Don't think too hard about things. The flow is meant to be experienced. Within it, care for yourself. You are part of the flow, an important part. Work with the flow. Work within the flow. Thrashing about isn't necessary. Let the flow help you care for yourself. Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time. You can trust the flow, and your part in it.

Today, I will go with the flow.

Hurry, hurry has no blessing.

Hurry, hurry has no blessing.
  —Swahili Proverb

In a busy family there is a lot of activity. We sometimes feel imprisoned by all the work, school, extracurricular activities, housework, meetings, and special events. In the press to do it all, we may lose our peace because of the hurry. We rush to eat; we rush to work; we rush to get there on time. Much of this cannot be helped. But hurry has no blessing, as the proverb goes. We can create quick tempers and a lot of frustration if we try to hurry too much.

When we allow enough time to slow things down, we give ourselves a chance to enjoy what we're doing, and to develop along spiritual lines. Inner peace depends on our keeping a balance in all the things we do. Only then can we feel the joy that comes from having enough time to do things quietly and smoothly, and value the inner peace that comes when we do not hurry.

How can I take my time today and enjoy myself?

Fear and Faith

The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one

that can never be wholly completed.  When under heavy attack, acute 

illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to 

this emotion -- well or badly, as the case may be.  Only the self-

deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263

Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith.  There 

are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm 

experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart.  

Faith and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -- helps me 

endure tragedy and ecstasy.  When I choose to give all of my fears 

over to my Higher Power,  I will be free.

In Touch Daily Devotional July 7

 
Exodus 3:10-17
God called Moses to do a great work for Him that would also bless the Israelites. Moses' response to this awesome invitation was to offer excuses for why he couldn't obey. This attitude--which I call a "faith barrier"--can thwart us spiritually.
In Moses' life, we see areas of weakness that can create such a barrier:
Poor self-image. When God gave the command to go to Pharaoh and lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses' immediate response was to say, "Who am I?" Perhaps he was thinking of his occupation as a lowly shepherd living in Midian. Maybe he was referring to his lineage--He was part of the Hebrew race that was enslaved in Egypt. Or He might have been recalling his past, when he killed an Egyptian and had to flee Egypt (Ex. 2:12). The Lord answered his objection with a wonderful promise: "I will be with you" (3:12).
Ignorance. In order to carry out God's plan, we need to believe fully in the One who has called us. When Moses questioned his assignment again, the Lord answered by revealing Himself as the great I AM and the One who had promised to rescue the Israelites (vv. 14-17). By trusting in the character and promises of almighty God, Moses would be able to carry out this seemingly impossible assignment.
Faith barriers hinder the flow of divine power in our life, slow spiritual growth, and prevent us from fully carrying out God's will. We must remember who He is, who we are, and where power comes from. That is, He's Sovereign over all, we're new creations in Christ, and His Spirit empowers us.

EACH DAY A NEW BEGINING

. that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
  —Doris Lessing

As we are changed by our experiences, that which we know also changes. Our experiences foster growth and enlightenment, and all awarenesses give way to new understandings. We are forever students of life blessed with particular lessons designed only for us. There is joy in knowing that learning has no end and that each day offers us a chance to move closer to becoming the persons we are meant to be.

To understand something more deeply requires that we be open to the ideas of others, willing to part with our present opinions. The program offers us many opportunities to trade in the understandings we've outgrown. Throughout our recovery we have discovered new interpretations of old ideas. And we will continue to expand our understanding.

Every situation, every person, every feeling, every idea has a slightly different hue each time we encounter it. The wonder of this is that life is forever enriched, forever fresh.

Each moment offers me a chance to know better who I am and to understand more fully the real contribution that is mine to make in this life. I will let the anticipation of my changing ideas excite me.

Language of letting go

Getting It All Out

Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.

What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?

We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.

Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.

Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.

We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.

Today, I will let it all out if I need a release. 


I grew up in a alcoholic home,and was taught that you don't share things with people.,. I walked on egg shells around my dad so not to upset him.  I grew up wanting to please my dad. I was daddy's little girl. 
 I went through school not opening up to anyone nor did I have many friends. I didn't feel like I fit in. 
When I was 13 I went to live with my mom who had left me when I was 2 years old. My mother and step dad smoked pot so here I was having to keep secrets.
I grew up to be a alcoholic and a addict and to be very codependent. All of the relationships that I got into I became who they wanted me to be,and did whatever they wanted me to whether I wanted to or not just to keep them happy. The only time that I didn't do as I was told or keep my mouth shut was when I got drunk and then I would get angry and take it way to far,and I would feel guilt,and remorse the next day. 
Being codependent has really taken a toll on my life it has lead me to depression& anger and  even physical sickness. I believe that it all was fear based..
the codependent behavior really started to change for me once I got sick and tired of being sick and tired,and that was 5 1/2 years after I was sober. I had been taken through the 12 steps and had seen how I was playing the victim and being a martyr the past 5 1/2 years of my recovery. I was walking around allowing others to say and do things and then I wouldn't stand up for myself,but then I would hold a resentment and go whine about it. 
Today I don't do that thanks to working the 12 steps I have learned how to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes I still struggle with sharing my feelings,but thank God I have close friends in recovery that know me well enough that know me well enough to know when I'm not ok ,and then I open up and share my feelings. Why I don't do it sooner I don't know cause I always feel better, thank God  it's progress not perfection.I will probably be working on this the rest of my life.

Todays Gift

I found words to every thought I ever had, but one . . .
  —Emily Dickinson

What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.

What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words? 

Each day new begining

Peace, she supposed, was contingent upon a certain disposition of the soul, a disposition to receive the gift that only detachment from self made possible.
  —Elizabeth Goudge

Self-centeredness, egocentrism, and selfishness are familiar to most of us. We have judged our world and all the situations and people in it in terms of how their existence affects our own. We have become tied to him or to her or to a situation just as surely as an anchor to a boat. Most of us learned in very early childhood to read others' behaviors. And we determined our own worth accordingly.

As adult women we still struggle, trying to read another's actions, hoping to find acceptance. Which means we are always vulnerable, exposing our "self" to the whims of other, equally vulnerable "selves." What we search for is peace and security. We think if others love and accept us, we'll be at peace. We'll know serenity. A most important lesson for us to learn in this life is that peace is assured when we anchor ourselves to our God. Peace, well-being, serene joy will accompany our every step when we expose our vulnerable selves to God's care and only God's care. We'll no longer need to worry about the self we try to protect. It will be handled with care.

Peace awaits me today. I will look to God, and only God, to know that all is well, that I am all that I need to be.

Todays gift

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
  —Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

Dreams

 
Dreams
“Listen to your dreams. They are the whispers of your heart telling you all you’ll ever need to be happy.”
~Belva Davis

Affirmation:
I am co-creating a new life with God.

Today's Prayer:
Dear God,

You know the dreams I have long-held in secret and even the dreams I have forgotten about.
Dreams of the way the world can be for me personally and for all of us.
Sometimes, I have ignored my dreams, thinking that they were "too big" for
me.
I realize that You have placed these longings in my mind and heart.
I believe that with and through You, all things are possible.
I consciously place my dreams in Your hands.
Show me what I must do and who I must be in order to manifest the
life You inspire in me.
I open myself to receive Your wisdom, guidance and assistance.
Thank You very much.
Amen

Celebrate

Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, and your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy - their attitudes, beliefs, and pain - on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, and rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God's creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that are there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.

Daily reflections

A NATURAL FAITH

. . . deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55

I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eatingand sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.

From the book Daily Reflection