Once we arrived in Arizona things only got worse. I was calling my grandmother & dad on a regular base crying wanting to come home. I didn't feel like I fit in.Here I ended up running up a really high phone bill, and I ended up grounded for that,and had to work off that.It didn't take long before I was jealous of my sister Wendy,it seemed like my mom favored her.
The summer ended,and it was time to go to school I was in 7th grade. Course the cloths that I was forced to wear were anything,but stylish so again I didn't feel like I fit in.
I don't remember exactly how it happened,but I ended up smoking pot with my mom & step dad. I was allowed to at home,but not before school.I found my escape through smoking pot I loved it. I also was smoking cigarettes.I was not allowed to smoke cigarettes I would get grounded for that. Then I started getting to know the kids at school that were par driers,and then I started taking pot from my parents,and started sharing it with people. That is how I started making so called friends. This went on through out middle school. I also was allowed to drink alcohol.My first time drinking I was playing spin the bottle with some friends, and I blacked out,and I ended up getting raped by 2 guys. My first husband happened to show up,and went and got my mother,my mother was so angry with me.When I came to the next day around 1:00 in the afternoon I didn't remember very much and I had hickies all over my neck and I barely remembered anything.This made me feel horrible about myself,and I was so afraid of what people would think of me. You would think that would have made me stop drinking,but it only made me drink more.I always went to school,but I went to school high, and I would get high during lunch time as well.I was known for my drugs not only by my friends,but their parents and the teachers as well.Can't believe that I never got in trouble for getting high or for having it at school.
to be continued..
No comments:
Post a Comment